It’s Okay

There is something a bit uncanny, but liberating about allowing yourself to fail. I mean to completely fail and not feel guilty about it. A quote has been reiterating in my mind the past several weeks of which states “I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine”. This short quote is so astonishingly simple, but yet almost impossible to live by. However, I am taking this one to heart.

As I reflect the past several years of my life (which I have been doing quite a bit lately and maybe I am going through an introspective phase in my life), but I found myself consistently feeling depressed, emotionally and even physically drained, guilty, and just gut wrenchingly…sad. Then, out of the blue last evening while taking my evening shower after the gym, I realized that this is okay. They are just passing emotions and thoughts. The key is, I just have to allow them to simply pass through me and learn to not let them consume me alive, as it have been for such a long time. Constantly gripped with fears, insecurities, doubts, self-induced let-downs, and frustrations, it is no wonder I have been so depressed.

It is okay to fail. Life is not meant to be all about success. I pondered about the word and definition(s) behind “success”. It is very subjective in that it is defined on an individual basis, yet we tend to strive to be like everybody else and/or those who we deem to be “better” or “superior” than us, whether it is intellectually, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, career-wise, and so on. Is this a cowardly perspective on success in that I fear success, thus I rather not strive for it? Absolutely not, and I say this with conviction. Rather, I am redefining (for myself) the ideas, the notions and philosophies behind success and failure.

I find myself oddly at peace with the reality (not just on a conceptual basis), but actual reality that it is absolutely okay to fall down over and over again as long as I keep finding the inner strength to pick myself up again, continuing to dust the painful remnants off, and move forward, all the while learning and taking in every life experiences that comes my way (the good, the bad, and everything in between). I have been so hard on myself that, ironically, instead of staying disciplined, I ultimately lead myself to self sabotage all the time.

There is something strengthening, liberating to be more self aware; to look within myself and realize that I am just growing; that pain and all its encompassing depressions, the pitfalls and failures, they are all meant to be part of our growing. Sure I’m challenged beyond belief at times, but I find that I am my own worst enemy and I am my own biggest challenge. The question is, do I choose to falter from the challenges or face them head on and grow from them?

Until the day I take my last breath, I am continuously learning, making mistakes, learning from those mistakes, falling down frequently, but also celebrating accomplishments and success (defined within my own terms and expectations), and keeping in mind: everything is okay.

Is it possible to transform the idea of “failure”; the word “failure” itself? Transform it by not allowing failure(s) to ruin our lives or discourage us, instead strengthen us? How else would we know our strengths without our failures?