In Love With Myself…

Alas, I am slowly falling in love with myself. What I mean is, I’m beginning to truly love myself and it has become a whole lot easier forgiving myself for all the flaws I have inherited and carry. My imperfections, I find them to be quite endearing actually.

I have been working rigorously hard in getting back to shape and improving my overall health. I have been feeling a bit fatigued, but this may be due to over-exercise and lack of calories. I’ve been hitting the gym roughly 5 days weekly, averaging near 10-12 hours per week doing pretty hardcore workouts consisting of weights and moderate-to-high intensity interval cardio. I have lost around 10-12 pounds since the end of July.

Sobriety: This coming Thursday will mark a two-month sobriety checkpoint for me. This is absolutely fantastic! I am truly and really proud of myself. I have never in my life accomplished what was initially an extremely daunting, nerve-racking, almost impossible feat. Though I still think about alcohol almost on a daily basis, I no longer have any physical relationship to alcohol.

I have never been sober this long and I am determined to continue on this wonderful sober path…hopefully for the rest of my physical life. This is, in essence, one of THE ultimate goals for myself. I have never felt so clear-minded, emotionally healthy and strong, confident, and at peace with myself ever since I have become totally sober.

There has been an ongoing issue still lingering in my life and has become somewhat pervasive, and that is loneliness. It is a dominant theme in my life and I’m still trying to be at peace with “loneliness”. I have become quite acquainted with it, but I have not yet embraced it as I should. I still find myself longing for companionship.

There has been an unfortunate but, on the same token, a liberating circumstance that came about for me not too long ago. I lost a friend. I have given up on him. I no longer have any attachments to him and…well…I believe, in my heart, that this happened for a legitimate reason; a good reason. Now, I can move on and not look back.

That is the very dominant theme for this year and for the next: DO NOT LOOK BACK, just keep moving forward…