Truth…?

Truth is free from patterns. Truth is free from everything as we know it to be the truth, of which is only from our conditioned mind to begin with.

Truth is flexible, adaptable, pliable, full of movement, twists and turns, it’s alive, free flowing, immeasurable, everlasting, sustainable only within our own minds and never external from it; truth is freeing, truth never conforms, set standards or engage man in any rigid rules and laws of society and the even the world at large because, after all, as Krishnamurti puts it, “We are the world. Whatever we are, the world is”.

I ask myself all the time now “what is my truth?” If it is nor to be found or sought, then what? If my truth already exists within me, if the truth is already inherently who I am, then who am I? If I am somebody beyond my ego, the conditioned life, my past experiences, my very own thoughts and beliefs…”if” I am somebody beyond all of that, then…who am I? How do I explore this question if the very act of questioning can lead me to answer through my ego, my conditioned mind? How else would I be able to answer this question? Is it possible to even answer such a question at all?

I find myself perplexed, confused, a tad bit frustrated and, at times, doubtful. It’s one thing to embark on a journey to self discovery and higher consciousness, but it’s a whole different story to sustain this motivation, to keep my mind fluid and free from conditioned thinking patterns and habitual perceptions. The truth is within me, I am the truth…so what is my truth? As I have reiterated the question above, who am I? If I am separate from my ego, from my past experiences, what does that leave me, as a person?

Evolution vs Revolution.

I have thought about these two words for the past two months. Do they go hand and hand? Are these two words interchangeable? I believe so. Philosophically, spiritually, psychologically, and intellectually, one would need a sense of evolution and maturity in order to accomplish inner revolution and/or transformation of the soul and psyche. This is simply my conclusion, my thoughts. So this leads, for me any way, to series of questions > why? Why bother? What’s the point? I truly believe, somewhere deep within the depth of my mind and heart, that to not take the challenge of challenging myself, to remain spiritually stagnant/lazy/oblivious, I would consider this detrimental to my soul. To remain in a bubble within the confinement of comfort and fear-driven latency, I refuse…I simply refuse to conform, to not step outside the conditioned mind and, instead, start a journey of true, fiercely honest relationship with myself.

Krishnamurthi adamantly reiterated his truth when he said ” Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect”. This is not only frustrating, complex, intellectually challenging, and implies self-reliance, self motivation, and hard work, it is also enlightening, refreshing, and I find myself simultaneously heaving out a sigh of relief and also an exhalation of puzzlement. Why? Because I don’t know where to begin…I guess the point is that there is no point of a beginning, I just need to simply open my mind, my heart, my eyes to reality, not the construct of so-called reality that my ego has conditioned me to believe in and grasp onto…sigh…I’m starting to get off track here and not really going anywhere on this post.

Will come back to this.

CHANGE.

An undeniable reality, an absolute truth, the inarguable fact about life is that there will always be changes taking place in our lives. This is the truth. I have embraced this truth regardless how scary some changes can be; how some changes incite fear, uncertainty, anxiety, that unsettling energy that turns into literal knots in your stomach. Sometimes, changes can alleviate all the aforementioned negative emotions and may, in fact, be interpreted as liberating, exciting, challenging, emotionally/psychologically/financially fulfilling, refreshing, and so on.

However, I am learning to revise my interpretations of the notion of “change” in that I view change as something that is simply and purely “inevitable”. I either take things in stride, learn from change, discard the habits of interpreting “change” in any negative way and, instead, simply evolve and always ride the waves, so to speak, and not go against the currents of reality. This is in reflection to my previous posts of “accepting” things as is because it is “resistance” that causes suffering.

Change is only scary, not worth pursuing, and/or something we go against instead of embracing it based on our interpretations of potential disasters, potential mistakes that can be made, potential “bad” outcomes that might arise from taking a chance and going through a change. This is absurd thinking, however, because the actual word ”potential” preludes to the notion of something that never has technically happened. If it is impossible to foresee the future (we can fool ourselves to think that we have this capability) and this is physiologically, scientifically, cosmically true, that we are not psychics, the question is, then, why do majority of us waste an excessive, tremendous amount of our energy and time “worrying” about the future, thus, fearing CHANGE?

Okay, more simply put, if “change” is inevitable in our lives, maybe so many of us suffer because we try so hard to go against this truth. We try in numerous and, at times, clever ways to elude ourselves from change because our egos are telling us it’s scary, it’s not the right thing to do for now, maybe later, that change is not always good, etc. We do anything to stay comfortable, to appease our egoic state of mind, to devolve instead of evolving as a human being. We equate comfort with happiness and contentment.

This is, again, an absurd notion. It’s choosing to intentionally and continuously have the wool over our eyes and we distort our own reality; this notion goes against the “truth”. No wonder when we think we are happy, we find ourselves that we are far from happiness. We are, in fact, fearful, in a constant state of boredom or stimulus overload, we are simply not at peace with ourselves due to the fact that we are constantly driven from our egos, and resisting change, resisting evolution of the mind and soul.

Whether the changes in my life are good or bad, it doesn’t matter because they go hand in hand, and I am learning to love change regardless how I evolve because, ultimately, my goal is to continue evolving and that is what matters at this point for me. I used to fear change or I would do anything to incite change…now, I simply welcome it and embrace it.

More to come. It has been a while since I posted on here.